0.333333 reoccurring cents per hour

0.333333 reoccurring cents per hour

Friday, 3 April 2009

I always get excited when I hear of the imminent launch of some really interesting new poker product. This is not because I’m inspired by the creativity and tireless endeavour of the innovators within this industry, although I am... sometimes.

No, it’s really more to do with the fact that it’s a sign that, sooner or later, I’m probably going to get taken out for lunch somewhere really posh. That’s why, when Neil Channing told me about his new site blackbeltpoker.com, my saliva glands began overexerting themselves – a sure sign that my digestive system was readying itself for quail.

So, over lunch, Neil, co-founder Nik Persaud and their right-hand-man Snoopy explained the concept. As well a training and information portal, blackbeltpoker.com will become a site that stakes players, provided they pass the rigorous grading system – a series of trials scientifically designed to ascertain whether a player has what it takes. Players will move up the grades according to ability, and thus the site ultimately hopes to produce the poker stars of the future.

The first challenge is to spend a week on the site playing $0.25-$0.50 for six hours per day. “This applies to everybody,” warns Neil. “We don’t care if you’re used to playing £10-£20 at the Vic. You have to prove you have the commitment and discipline.”

Wax on, wax off, I think. I pop one of KFC’s finest chicken nuggets into my mouth and mull this over thoughtfully.

The next day, inspired, I flip open my laptop for some serious $0.25-$0.50. I could become one of the stars of the future, like what they said, I think. How hard can it be? They seem to play pretty badly on this table.

After six solid hours of play, I check in to the cashier to see how I’m doing. Oh, for fu – I’ve turned my starting bankroll of $500 into $500.02. Well that’s pretty solid. I’m still a moneymaking player – if an entirely futile one. It’s a steady-but-futile hourly-rate of 0.333333 reoccurring cents per hour. I ping a hopeful-but-futile email off to Neil. No dice? Drat!

Just to rub it in, that same day I’m interviewing Jamie Gold, who has just signed the biggest ever sponsorship deal in the history of poker, with AcedPoker.com – an eight-figure sum, we hear. This has enabled Jamie to guarantee that he’ll put up $50,000 PER DAY to risk on the tables over at AcedPoker, and it’s available to anyone who wants to try to come and get it.

By my calculations, this means that Jamie needs to be making at least $33 per hour to be anywhere near as good as me.

“And if you can do that,” I tell him, “I’ll put you on the cover!”
Check out Bluff Europe’s April edition – the one with Jamie Gold on the cover – available soon from all good card rooms.

Tags: Philip Conneller, Columnist